PARIS, December 16, 2019 -- There are strikes on the streets of Paris and there’s nothing funny about it.

I mean the rails had limited service and a pregnant woman was forced to have a baby in a commuter car.

Your heart goes out to mother and child… but then again the same situation happened last year and the train operator gave that baby a free travel pass… until the age of 25.

I guess that’s a day in the life – the ups, the downs, and the sweet surprises in between.

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“Every hooker I ever speak to tells me that it beats the hell out of waitressing. Waitressing’s gotta be the worst fucking job in the world.” — From Woody Allen’s film Deconstructing Harry (1997); production design by Santo Loquasto.

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I met John Quilty, AKA Quilty, waiting tables in a restaurant on the Upper East Side of Manhattan when we were young actors.

Just like The Marriage of Figaro, we were two servants who worked for a count. In fact, we worked for two men who acted like two counts. It was traumatic.

Every single time I see Quilty we talk about some of our past experiences in the restaurant and then we just hold each other.

It was that bad. And Quilty was once a Guardian Angel in New York City in the late 1980s.

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Quilty is no longer a Guardian Angel or a waiter.

He’s an actor and photographer and he takes the most beautiful pictures.

Quilty was in Paris recently as the still photographer for a traveling production of Le Nozze di Figaro (The Marriage of Figaro).

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This is Quilty:

This latest version of Mozart’s famed opera was directed by American film director James Gray with costumes by Christian Lacroix and a stage by Santo Loquasto, the award-winning set and costume designer whose creations have graced Broadway shows and Hollywood films.

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This is Santo (left), with a cast member:

Quilty, who’s been working for Santo, was able to get me a ticket for the “générale” (dress- rehearsal) at the Théâtre des Champs Elysées last month.

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This is the stage:

For those who don’t know, The Marriage of Figaro is a fun comedic opera composed in four acts by Mozart. It’s a masterpiece from 1784 about a countess teaming up with her servants to teach her husband a lesson about fidelity.

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The opera’s overture is one of the most exhilarating pieces I have ever heard and just about everyone knows it … but I must admit that like for a minute I couldn’t shake the opening credits of Trading Places from my mind.

I am quite sure that when this movie first came out I thought the music was written for the movie.

Look how klasssy I have become.

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As for the opera’s set? It was absolutely stunning but that is because it was designed by the talented Santo.

I mean his set designs are scripts within themselves.

I remember watching Blue Jasmine and Jasmine, played by Cate Blanchett, is working as a receptionist in a dentist’s office.

She’s wearing a dental wrap smock and, throughout that scene, we see her Hermes bag that just sits on her desk next to her phone.

Super funny.

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After the opera, I got to spend time with Santo and Quilty backstage and we walked around the theatre. Quilty spotted a photograph and said, “Gloria, this photo reminds me of you!”

Santo responded, “That’s Mistinguett.”

“Oh my god, that is AMAZING,” I said, with a super high pitch.

Mistinquett (1875 – 1956) was a flamboyant French singer and actress who if you believe Wikipedia… “was at one time the highest-paid female entertainer in the world.”

But what Wikipedia doesn’t know — and what prompted me to screech OMG — was that Mistinguette once lived in my Paris apartment or should I say I live in her apartment.

Also, sometimes she helps with my jokes. Just to know.

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Look for The Marriage of Figaro at a theater near you.

You’ll love it — and unlike Paris the trains should be working there.

That wasn’t my joke… it was Mistinguett’s.

Just to know.

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Thanks, Quilty and Santo for the best seat in the house and a big “Bravo” to the cast. What a glamorous night. C’était formidable.

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ABOUT MISS YVONNE

Miss Yvonne is a writer, actress and stand-up comedian living in Paris.

She’s also available for tours of the famed and fabulous city.

Contact her at www.parisairconcierge.com.

IMAGES

All images courtesy of Photographer John Quilty